Illustrations

Discovered a cool blog that has inspired to hone my drawing skills: everypersoninnewyork.blogspot.com. This guy just draws people in the city. Goal: to draw every person. Clearly, not a feasible goal but his illustrations are really cool. In my still-throbbing heartbreak, I have set new goals for myself this summer. Not only am I going to become a reading fiend, I will 1) learn to do some stop-motion with clay and 2) write.

Watched the season finale of Glee. Music makes me cry. Love makes me cry. Music + love? Inevitable outcome.

Pain

Hurting...hope it goes away soon.

Pain comes in so many colors, textures, forms. My friend told me recently how she used to cry when she was little after she had a really great day. She cried because she knew she would never get that moment in time back. Those flitting hours of happiness are gone before we're even able to grasp and comprehend them.

Going to have to get surgery on my foot this summer. Two months recovery... nothing but time for me to start work on my clay animation project and writing. Also into illustration. I remember once upon a time when I could draw. I was great at copying other people's work. That counts for something, no?

Can't believe there's only 3 more weeks of school left. That will conclude my 3rd year of teaching. I've been immensely happier this year at work. Not sure if I made any significant changes in my students' reading levels. According to the latest diagnostic, the answer to that question is a resounding no. Does that make me feel bad? Maybe in the past, it would have. Now? I question the validity of any testing as it is. I know I've challenged my students and given them work that some other teachers might not have. We've been working on Romeo and Juliet this month. It's been tough and-- can't not use this adjective-- painful. But their blogs are coming along.

The Situation

I am completely embracing the change of pace that comes with my winter break. Oh, the holidays we get as teachers. So amazingly refreshing. Especially this year, since I am getting so damn good at leaving my job at my job and staying relaxed at home. This blog post is sarcastically dedicated to the trashiest of trash shows: Jersey Shore. (What my life could have been like had I stayed in Staten Island.) There's a guy on the show who named himself as "The Situation." When I first heard about that, I thought, "That's gotta be a joke nickname." But after watching one episode last night at my friend's place, I realized, "No, he's taking himself way too seriously for it to have any facet of humor."

The situation of my life right now... Love: not so great. Work: Awesome. Finances: why the hell do I keep getting charged random fees?

New Year's Resolution #1: Stop using credit cards except maybe for my Amex.

Back to Blogger

Okay, I tried to make the switch from blogspot to wordpress because wordpress allows you to manage multiple pages. But...being not that tech savvy, I've decided to move back to this space.

A Sheltered World

I used to be friends with a very devout Muslim mother. She's really young but already has 3 young girls, and keeps an active blog that's complete with adorable pictures of her little girls doing silly things such as dancing, singing, and telling children's stories. She keeps her own blog, which is filled with motherhood stories and almost flawless writing. Lately, I've been feeling the need to revert back to piety. Perhaps her seemingly perfect, sheltered world comes as a result of her devotion to Allah. I want that...very much. My world could be that, maybe, with the right amount of Islam. But I've been too beaten down and disillusioned by the Muslims I've known. My world is brimming over with negativity and untrustworthy people.

Hiatus...what a pattern

I do this with every journal/blog I have ever had. I update once every few months. I really do want to update more often but I often end up discussing mind-disturbing issues on gchat with friends. Maybe I should stop being so open about things. Sometimes, in the middle of conversations, I find myself wondering if the things I say are complete boring, idiotic trash to some of these people. I mean, I suppose if something didn't involve me, I wouldn't really care all that much. But maybe that's just the selfish bitch in me talking.

I think my next school is going to be the one that offered me a position right on the spot. That was pretty awesome, and I had felt positive vibes while I was there. However, because my current school is discriminatory and run by mean-spirited asinine bastards, I can't exactly tell them that I'm leaving. My new principal says that it's okay that I wait but I'm nervous about not having been officially accepted. I have 15 work days left, and I can hardly wait. Someone told me to focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. I described it more as a blazing sun and the reason why I'm still so depressed is because I can't look directly look at the light or else, I risk the fate of Tiresias. (You know...that blind guy in Oedipus Rex)

For some unknown reason, my administration changed all my failing kids to passing kids. It's actually a violation of our teacher rights to change grades without our consent. I went up to my AP and spoke rather rudely: "So basically, all my failing kids are now passing kids? Why is that?" She was eating peanuts at the time and started smacking her lips louder. In her nasty, ghetto voice, she tells me, "It is what it is."

I asked her what that was supposed to mean and she says, "You wanna come at me? I'll come right back at you."

What? Is she one of the kids now? My principal stepped in and they tried to explain the change in my grades as an alignment to their ELA test scores. Could they not come up with a better lie? Everyone knows that test scores don't have to align with classroom effort. These people really want to play me for a fool. How stupid do they think us teachers are?

If my school could be a little more professional, maybe teachers like T wouldn't get away with coming to work fifteen minutes to half an hour late on a consistent basis. T arrived to work 2 hours late and came back from lunch 2 hours late on our professional development day. When I tried to chastise him on his unprofessionalism, he blatantly tells me, "I don't care." This is the kind of people we have educating our kids. I am scared for the upcoming generation, and hope that if I raise children in this sort of world, that they never be exposed to these people until later on in life when they know what's what.

Hope

One of my most disruptive students has a hearing coming up. There is hope...